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“Speak to me bones” by Land of talk (a Threadtrend FAVORITE!!!!!!)

As long as I live, I will never understand the whole celebrities as “fashion designers” phenomenon. Who in their right mind would want to own a piece by Amanda Bynes? And by “piece” I mean a poorly constructed pink hoodie with lightning bolts or rainbows and moon shadows.

I think my favorite example of a celebrity line is Alyssa Milano’s “Touched,” a collection of baseball-theme clothes for women (yes, if my religious reading of Bop magazine serves me well, I do remember that she’s  big into baseball). Here’s a sampling:

Ew.

I get that she wants to get paid (although the money from two syndicated television shows and a score of Japanese pop albums should be enough for anyone), and I accept that there’s a niche audience of women who desire “sexy” stuff to wear to the ballpark, but still, it’s so unnecessary.

Just like Sarah Jessica Parker’s “Bitten,” Jessica Alba’s upcoming baby clothes line, Jennifer Love Hewitt’s “Enhance,” Hilary Duff’s “Stuff,” Reba McIntire’s “Reba,” and especially Beyonce’s “House of Dereon.”

Ew.

It’s a shame that real, struggling designers are losing opportunities thanks to these terrible lines. It also sucks that those who are really behind these celebrity vanity projects are forced to cater to the creative whims of actresses and singers who’ve decided making clothes is fun regardless of actual talent or training.

One of the most recent, and perhaps offensive lines, is Pete Wentz’ “Clandestine Industries.” Are we really suppose to trust the tastes of someone who’s taken Ashley Simpson as a lover? And even apart from her, he’s got enough egregious crimes–namely his band and his fashion sense–to answer for. Plus, he’s just taking advantage of all the black sweatshirt wearing, mildly depressed pubescent girls who want his emo bod and soul and will spend their guilty parent’s money on anything Wentz related.
Here’s an example of what they’re laying down $24.95 for:

I rest my case.

Support a real designer.

-V. Thread

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