Threadtrend

Fact #1: Britney Spears may be pregnant again. Fact #2: Britney Spears is a bad dresser. Fact #3: Britney Spears is a bazillionaire. So why not pay threadtrend to style her for her alleged 3rd pregnancy?

I know, I know. The real question is could America’s favorite unfit mother really be pregnant again? and why haven’t we all agreed to increase taxes to pay for her tubes to be tied. NME reports that according to In Touch Weekly she’s prego AGAIN by music producer, JR Rotem

I’m not even going to get all excited about the speculation and delve into how unfair it is that Britney’s kids, present and future, have a mother who’s too cheap to get proper hair extensions and underwear. No, instead, I’d like to pitch to Ms. Spears a nine month contract to style her during her alleged pregnancy. We can start by shopping A Pea in the Pod’s online store. They’ve got some really cute stuff right now. There’s no excuse for Britney to look like she shops at the Salvation Army (not in the good way) just because she’s pregnant, especially when her bank account has more zeros than her fan club.

Check out a few of my A Pea in the Pod faves:

A Promotional visit to TRL look

Supervised visit with the kids look, pearls non-optional.

Your try-to-win-K-fed back look

A meeting with your new publicist look

A weekend shopping look

-Camille L

I know I’m way late to this story, but I don’t really keep up with the happenings of the Baby Phat empire. I do, however, catch Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane whenever I can because if there’s on thing I love it’s delusional rich ladies. Who doesn’t?

This week’s episode chronicled the creation of the Ming and Aoki signature line for Baby Phat, which crazy Kimora led her children and herself to believe they designed. I guess that’s true, if you call two precocious little kids saying they want a “space theme” and “bubble gum buttons” designing.

The whole thing just seemed so insulting to the young designer who actually worked to build the line. He has to share credit with Kimora’s kids? Why? Is it really necessary for these babies to think they created a collection? That’s not cute!  Who does Kimora think they are, Amanda Bynes?

That’s like me saying I made dinner when, in reality, I just told a chef I was craving spaghetti and wouldn’t mind a little garlic bread.

Talk about inflated self worth! Poor kids.

–V. Thread 

How happy was I when I saw, that’s right, ANTM Jaslene Gonzales,on the Nov 26th issue of trade publication, Footwear News! It’s not that she’s my favorite ANTM or anything (well actually I guess she is. Who else it is going to be, Danny?). Its just that after Manuel Paul and V. thread reported that she was signing autographs in the Cover Girl aisle of Walmart I felt really bad for her. I mean girls from all over the world buy plane tickets, stand in line for days, and starve themselves in hopes of being chosen to “participate” on Tyra’s dumb show, America’s Next Top Model. THEN! if they win, you NEVER see them again. They disappear into the black hole of “Cover Girl Commercials” and Archived Seventeen Magazine covers.

Anyhow, Jaslene’s on the cover of Footwear News and she’s got a 9 page spread entitled Modern Nature showcasing “edgy, modern, nature-inspired Spring styles”…. Sure…. From the styling and art direction of the shoot, it’s obvious Footwear News is not the mag to turn to for the most inspiring fashion and creativity.

As a stylist, I am never one to hate on another stylist’s work. But come on, I thought the spread was about the shoes and instead she/he adorned poor Jaslene with the latest and greatest in avian adornments. Did Jaslene need feathers in her hair, her hand, on her neck, behind her, in front of her…? Well it’s not Jaslene’s fault. She did a good job. And she should have, this spread looks just like one of Tyra’s “stand naked while we tar-and-feather you and look pretty but more like this, not like this. “

-Camille L

So, it all started with this dress from the Chloe Spring ‘07 RTW collection:

Pretty cute, right? Downright delicious even. Duh, it is Chloe.

Then, Fashionista discovered this pretender by at Urban Outfitters going for $78:

Still very cute. We even featured it in our Winter White Dresses fashion spread because, really, we couldn’t care less that it’s a knock off. I know it’s intellectual thievery and all that, but, really, I don’t think Chloe missed out on any sales because of Urban. I’m glad the unwashed masses like me can get such a fashiony dress without breaking the bank.

And today it got even better because I saw it for even cheaper! It’s actually a BB Dakota dress, and on Karmaloop you can get it for $62, and shipping is free if you type in “THANKS” at checkout.

Sorry, Chloe. It’s irresistible.

Hint to curvy ladies, shifts don’t look good on you. I know this because I am one of you. My advice? Belt that sucker and work it! That’s what I’m intend to do.

–V. Thread

Photo from Style.com 

If money were no object, wouldn’t it be funny to give this awful Marc by Marc Jacobs‘ “Sew Smart Slouchy” bag as a practical joke?

Picture this scenario: You hand your friend a package and say, “I can’t hold back, I got you a Marc bag!” Of course, she squeals with delight, saying “you shouldn’t have” as she snatches it from your hands. She tears through the packaging with bated breath. Suddenly, her expression changes from pure joy to utter confusion when she sees this patchwork mess that looks like it smells of cats, syrup and cigarettes.

“Thanks?” she says with zero sincerity. Then you yell, “GOTCHA!!!!!”

Shoot, that pile of distressed denim would be on eBay faster than you can say “Merry Christmas.”

So funny. Too bad it’s costs $228! Maybe that’s Marc’s practical joke on us!

–V. Thread

Vivienne Westwood was honored with an Outstanding Achievement in Fashion award at last night’s British Fashion Awards. I’m glad she quit with the swastikas.

–V. Thread

Jade was one of my least favorite models ever on America’s Next Top Model, and I don’t think I need to explain my reasons for this. So, imagine my dismay when I witnessed this ad while pouring over the latest issue of Teen Vogue (don’t judge me!).

Jade got a job?!?!?! Woh!

Of course, it is for Apple Bottoms, but still, it’s a job, and I bet she got paid way more for this ad campaign than I made this whole year. Not to mention, it’s a teeny bit (not by much!) cooler than Jaslene’s depressing Walmart ad.

What’s with these jeans anyway–would you EVER wear them? I mean, really, why is Nelly “designing” denim? Who does he think he is, Amanda Bynes? I’ve never seen even one person sporting these apple-appliqued jeans. Well, except for Jade.

Also, isn’t this the worst ad ever? I love that she’s embracing herself in front of a tree that looks like it’s been through a long, cold winter, but still managed to bloom some Red Delicious.

It must be the power of Jade’s own little apple bottom.

–V. Thread

Other America’s Next Top Model Articles:

On the Same Page:Jaslene and Walmart. Sad.


America’s Next Top Model:Heather Gets the Boot


The Nov 26th issue of Footwear News: OMG! America’s Next Top Model Jaslene got a job!!!!