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Don’t think ANTM is educational? Au contraire. This week I replaced real, important, knowledge with these tidbits:

1. Marvita’s got issues. So little orphan Annie.

2. Whitney’s makeover made her look like a Poison groupie. Hey, that’s better than saying she looks like Anna Nicole.

3. It sounds really stupid when you say “The Vogue.” Vogue is a verb, Dominique. Duh.

4. Vendella has become a z-list model veteran. Sorry.

5. If you talk about yourself in the third person, you’re bananas. That means you, “The Dominique.”

6. “My best friend is black” is never a good comeback when someone accuses you of racism.

7. Tyra is a sadist who just thought it would be funny to make Claire look like Susan Powter .

8. The panel loves to question how dedicated the models are. Like a cult.

9. Paulina is a spitfire. Did you see the way she was taunting Vendella?

10. Poor Marvita.

–Valentina