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While I admit that it’s pathetic that this is the question burning in my mind right now, I still have to ask: are we going to get an actual model out of America’s Next Top Model this year? I hope so because season after season, it’s just one pretty girl with little model potential after another.

That’s been the trend for so long now that I don’t expect anything else. I just watch it for the camp factor.

But last night, the panel decided on the top 3, which includes Anya, Fatima, and Whitney. And since the show is obviously only keeping Whitney on to prove that they’re inclusive, I’m sure they’ll kick her off tout suite next week. Then we’ll be left Anya and baby Iman. So good.

On a side note, I feel the same way about Whitney that I’m beginning to feel about Hilary Clinton: I would love for a plus-size model to win, just not that plus-size model.

Anyway, I’m hoping that ANTM doesn’t trash the opportunity to have a real model showdown for this year’s finale. Anyone who’s stuck with the show this long deserves it, for crying out loud.

-Valentina

1. America’s Next Top Model is a battlefield.

2. You can’t let a Roman gladiator F up your shoot.

3. Anya should win. These remaining episodes feel like a formality.

4. If Tyra tells you she’s your “Mama.” Run away.

5. Wow, Saleisha, a Canadian sportswear line!

6. Tyra will use any excuse to strike a pose.

7. Tyra is crazy, but she can work high-waisted jeans.

8. If we were in Egypt, Katarzyna would be perfect.

9. A “busted, broken-down waistline” is a good thing in the world of modeling.

10. Poor Katarzyna. Yuck to Whitney.

Everyday it’s something new with this one.

On Monday, it was all over the internet that Nina Garcia was outsky as Fashion Director of Elle magazine, having been dumped on Friday. Rumor had it that, as a result of her role on Project Runway and her book deals and advertising Blackberrys, she was generally missing in action at the Elle offices, leaving all the work to her assistants.  Doesn’t that just sound sooooo Nina?

Then, Tuesday, news broke that she was invited to be an Editor-at-Large for the mag, but it seems that that was just a nicety since the job was only offered as a 6-month stint, and it looks like it’s just to get her through another season of PR–Elle, of course, sponsors the show.

At the moment, nobody knows what Nina’s gonna do. If I were her, I’d take the title and the money.

–Valentina

Source.

If you think only dumb girls watch America’s Next Top Model, you’re wrong. Actually, ANTM is a cesspool of knowledge. Here’s what I learned this week:

1. Whitney’s got a plus-size chip on her shoulder.

2. Top Model is really just a Sprint commercial with prizes.

3. Bright yellow skirted bikinis aren’t for everyone. Oh, Lauren…sigh.

4. Speaking of Laurnen, she’s got a shitty personality and a walk to match.

5. You should always do a test run before you jump face first onto a hard plastic surface.

6. It ain’t the Year of the Rat! It’s the Year of the Biaaaaaatch! From Claire to Paulina.

7. Fatima is too beautiful and too graceful for Top Model.

8. Paulina’s not a fan of “weird European tackiness.” Hmmph. I LOVE it.

9. I would really hate it if someone thought Lauren had more potential than me at anything. The humiliation.

10. There is a god–they told Claire to beat it!

For some reason–most likely her obsession with herself–Tyra decided to “honor” the women of America’s Next Top Model and her dumb talk show. I don’t know many details, and I don’t want to.  I just really wanted an excuse to post this SICK picture of Jade.

My god! Not fierce.

UPDATE:  Here are the nominees and winners from Jezebel:

Biggest Makeover Meltdown
Nominees: Jade, Jada, Bianca
Winner: Jade

Craziest Phone Call
Nominees: Shandi, Natasha
Winner: Natasha

Worst Wipeout
Nominees: Rebbecca, Norelle, Jael
Winner: Norelle

Most Dramatic Exit
Nominees: Ebony (Cycle 9), Jade, Kimberly
Winner: Kimberly

Ugliest Cry
Nominees: Joanie, Shandi, Jael
Winner: Joanie

Honorary Awards:
Lifetime Achievement Award
Toccara

Most Dramatic Change
Shandi

–Valentina

photo source.

1. Models talking about their babies and their milk drying up is BOR-ING.

2. Standing up on a chair during an argument is lame.

3. Posing with pain–it’s real, and it’s scary.

4. “When Tyra’s in front of you, you will blank out!”

5. Nigel definitely decided what the one-on-one challenge would be. Dirty.

6. Dominique is right! They are monkeys. Bitchy monkeys.

7. Oh! Claire is “the bitch” this season!

8. ANTM has absolutely no idea what “Punk” or “Grunge” mean.

9. The redhead was more “Bette Midler” than “R&B.”

10. Poor Bette Midler.

-Valentina

Read other Threadtrend America’s Next Top Model articles.

Don’t think ANTM is educational? Au contraire. This week I replaced real, important, knowledge with these tidbits:

1. Marvita’s got issues. So little orphan Annie.

2. Whitney’s makeover made her look like a Poison groupie. Hey, that’s better than saying she looks like Anna Nicole.

3. It sounds really stupid when you say “The Vogue.” Vogue is a verb, Dominique. Duh.

4. Vendella has become a z-list model veteran. Sorry.

5. If you talk about yourself in the third person, you’re bananas. That means you, “The Dominique.”

6. “My best friend is black” is never a good comeback when someone accuses you of racism.

7. Tyra is a sadist who just thought it would be funny to make Claire look like Susan Powter .

8. The panel loves to question how dedicated the models are. Like a cult.

9. Paulina is a spitfire. Did you see the way she was taunting Vendella?

10. Poor Marvita.

–Valentina

America’s Next Top Model runner-up Chantal walked in the Whitely Kros show at LA Fashion Week.  Sure, it’s just LA and sure, she’s got 80s Heavy Metal hair, but at least she has a job.

At least they didn’t put her in this:

That would have just been mean.

–Valentina

I torture myself with Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes every Sunday. I mostly hate what he says because it’s usually all complainy and obvious, but last night was different. This week, Andy whined about fashion, and it was hilarious.

Here are some of the things he commented on:

“This is for something called the Armani Code. Nevermind the Armani, she’s certainly going to be cold if she goes out in this.”

“What do you think this ad is trying to sell? Women’s hats maybe? No. She’s pushing a perfume called Flower Bomb. No one wants to be bombed with perfume.”

“…Kwiat is jewelry. She’s got an earring hanging there, but I wish she’s take the hair out of her eyes before they took this picture.”

Hilarity!

Rooney also showed a picture from some fashion spread that included a turban-wearing model. It totally grossed him out: “This is the least attractive ad in these magazines. She looks as though she just got out of the shower and still has a towel wrapped around her head.”

Oh, Andy. Welcome to the my universe.

–Valentina

Well, even though I was so eh about Project Runway at the beginning of the season, I have to say this was probably the best finale ever. All the designers really went for it for their fashion week collections–Christian’s line was out of hand (in a good way) and Jillian’s was delish. I even liked Rami’s stuff despite the fact that all his previous designs just looked like boring Jennifer Lopez garb to me.

Here’s what I loved (although, you should watch the show because these pictures don’t do any of the collections any justice)

Christian Soriano

Jillian Lewis:

Rami Kashou

–Valentina